In what has become an annual tradition, I am going to recap my random thoughts and views on the Oscars. They might be crude, might be rude so you are being warned in advance ;) Here goes (in chronological order during the show)
Why wasn't Mila Kunis nominated for best supporting actress for that one scene alone. Not one guy I have spoken to doesn't agree with me. Total travesty.
Since Anne Hathaway hosted this year, will William Shakespeare host next year? They should have had Franco dress up as old Will but I suspect only two people in the viewing audience would have caught the reference.
I want a voice as deep as Morgan Freeman's.
Why do I feel like yelling at James Franco "open your eyes".
If the host wins the Best Actor award, will the other nominees yell "fix".
Marky Mark is still cool but where was the Funky Bunch?
Why did they ruin the show by showing a scene from Titanic. Don't they know I hate sinking ships?
Which True Grit leading actor would win the gunfight if they took each other on, John Wayne or Jeff Bridges?
Walt Disney must be rolling over in his grave over the way Tim Burton ruined Alice in Wonderland.
They give you x time to talk when you win, I would just say screw it and keep talking.
Kirk Douglas, a 96 year old pervert.
Mila you won best supporting actress by a write in vote from guys around the world.
Melissa Leo is definitely hotter than she is in the movie but who the hell is she?
How many tight asses called ABC within 5 seconds of Melissa Leo's "fucking easy" comment?>
Kirk Douglas, you were painful to watch.
Who would have thought Meg Griffin from Family Guy looked so hot, nice dress Mila.
How to Train your Dragon was better than Toy Story 3.
Nice beeding on Anne's dress.
White tux v black tux? I choose black so when I spill on myself no one will see the stain (Bill Clinton disagrees and wishes Monica wore a white outfit that day)
That bear in Toy Story 3 is evil.
Stuttering wins over lesbianism, tsk tsk
Dame Helen Mirren = class
How did Russell Brand pull in Katy Perry?
Nice horse tail Reese Witherspoon. Given how your career is going well and Ryan Phillippe's isn't, do you ever feel like texting him to say "sucker"
Geoffrey Rush should have won.
Christian Bale will always be the American Psycho to me.
John and Bob Kennedy would never have killed Marilyn if she looked like James Franco in that dress.
Anne Hathaway makes Nicole Kidman looked tanned.
Scarlett, good call on dumping Ryan Reynolds.
Scarlett, you can let go of Matthew now.
Marisa Tomei doesn't age!!!
Cate Blanchett, nice soccer mom hair. BTW girl, it's the Oscars, show some skin.
A makeup artist is married to a woman, will wonders never cease.
Dear costume design winner, reading your victory speech is lameass.
I wonder if Randy Newman still loves LA and hates short people.
Toy Story 3 almost made me cry when they all were about to go into the incinerator.
Nice sequins on Amy Adams.
Luke Matheny, it's 2011, not 1971, get rid of the girly curls.
Don't like Anne's 3rd dress, like a silver sack.
Damn I hate Oprah. Shoutout to the leech Stedmon though, was he there?
Hillary Swank, it's ok to eat.
IronMan even thinks Charlie Sheen is out of control.
Nice red dress Anne!
Jennifer Hudson, you lost all that weight and wore THAT dress?
Short people around the world are protesting Randy Newman's win.
Celine Dion's dad must have been proud of her son last night, err Count, that's her husband.
Is Halle Berry black or does she just go to a tanning salon on a daily basis?
Damn, how many dresses does Anne have?
At least Hillary Swank is no longer married to that parasite nobody.
Annette Bening, only woman to keep Warren Beatty faithful, good on you.
Eli Wallach is still the "Ugly"
Who was the guy with the porn stache behind Jennifer Lawrence?
Anakin would be so proud of Queen Amidala. No wonder he turned evil, she didn't mention him in her acceptance speech.
Lipstick is not red enough there Sandra.
I wonder what Jesse James is thinking right now.
Well deserved win by Colin Firth.
Love the black sequins Anne, woohoo.
Marky Mark looked pissed King's Speech won. Well deserved win by King's Speech.
See you next year.
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